I keep seeing this on all sorts of social websites like Pinterest, 9gag and facebook.
I want you to take your time and read this through.
Read it?
All of it?
Okay.
I want you to take your time and read this through.
Read it?
All of it?
Okay.
WHAT A LOAD OF BULLSHIT.
First of all – the picture. I already did a blog post about girls posing prettily in positions that are absolutely uncomfortable to read but I think this one tops them all. One: you’re lying on a pile of books. Two: your arm will get tired. Three: I hope that book is going to hit you in the head when it slips. Four: how dare you lie on a pile of books?
But let’s focus on the words now.
- My expectations of the ideal guy aren’t THAT high to think he will have read enough Murakami to have a real opinion of him. I point to my first impression to Shakespeare compared to the last one.
- If you did not get through the first chapter of The Fellowship, get out.
- I am saying this as a girl who is obsessed with books; don’t buy me books unless you know my library by heart. Even I don’t know my library by heart. It isn’t any fun to say “oh, I’m sorry, I already have three editions of The Hobbit; sorry you had to spend 20 euros on another one”.
- I will never try to make my life a little like my favourite book. I’d like to keep the ringwraiths *out* of reality, thank you very much.
-lie to me and I will cut you. There is never an excuse to lie. Fail me? On purpose? Oh well if that isn’t my ideal of fucking prince charming then I don’t know anymore. Not. I care for imperfections, but if you fail to fulfil my basic requests of loyalty and trust I’m going to kick you the hell out of my life.
- Yes, people change, or as you put it, develop. But I know I can’t control that. I am not the type of girl who’s going to start going out with a guy I have nothing in common with just because I think I can change him. That’s dating 101 right there. You twat.
- I am not that much of an idiot to give my future kids strange names. We have a customer at the library who actually has a really silly Disney princess name (the sort of princess that gets her garderobe sown by mice) and I think that’s very cruel.
- People stare when you recite things under your breath. That’s because it could be Keats, but it always sounds like an incantation to summon the devil.
- I will make out for myself if you deserve me, thank you very much.
All in all, this is a typical case of Manic Pixie Dream Girl applied to girls who are geeky about books. I’d like to think I’m part of that group, and yes, I sometimes act a bit crazy about books, but I’m also just another normal human being. There are women out there who adore books but are bad mothers. There are girls out there who obsess over bad chick lit but that doesn’t make them obnoxious.
I guess my point is this: take me as I am and not as how you want me to be. If you want me to be a Nerdy Manic Pixie Dream Girl, then you’re fucked because I am not nearly that energized, cruel, fashionable, happy or whimsical. And you know what? I am fucking happy with exactly the way I am.
Until next rant,
Bejoes
PS: a few days after I wrote this a girl I follow on Youtube made this. It’s basically the same rant about a different subject.
First of all – the picture. I already did a blog post about girls posing prettily in positions that are absolutely uncomfortable to read but I think this one tops them all. One: you’re lying on a pile of books. Two: your arm will get tired. Three: I hope that book is going to hit you in the head when it slips. Four: how dare you lie on a pile of books?
But let’s focus on the words now.
- My expectations of the ideal guy aren’t THAT high to think he will have read enough Murakami to have a real opinion of him. I point to my first impression to Shakespeare compared to the last one.
- If you did not get through the first chapter of The Fellowship, get out.
- I am saying this as a girl who is obsessed with books; don’t buy me books unless you know my library by heart. Even I don’t know my library by heart. It isn’t any fun to say “oh, I’m sorry, I already have three editions of The Hobbit; sorry you had to spend 20 euros on another one”.
- I will never try to make my life a little like my favourite book. I’d like to keep the ringwraiths *out* of reality, thank you very much.
-lie to me and I will cut you. There is never an excuse to lie. Fail me? On purpose? Oh well if that isn’t my ideal of fucking prince charming then I don’t know anymore. Not. I care for imperfections, but if you fail to fulfil my basic requests of loyalty and trust I’m going to kick you the hell out of my life.
- Yes, people change, or as you put it, develop. But I know I can’t control that. I am not the type of girl who’s going to start going out with a guy I have nothing in common with just because I think I can change him. That’s dating 101 right there. You twat.
- I am not that much of an idiot to give my future kids strange names. We have a customer at the library who actually has a really silly Disney princess name (the sort of princess that gets her garderobe sown by mice) and I think that’s very cruel.
- People stare when you recite things under your breath. That’s because it could be Keats, but it always sounds like an incantation to summon the devil.
- I will make out for myself if you deserve me, thank you very much.
All in all, this is a typical case of Manic Pixie Dream Girl applied to girls who are geeky about books. I’d like to think I’m part of that group, and yes, I sometimes act a bit crazy about books, but I’m also just another normal human being. There are women out there who adore books but are bad mothers. There are girls out there who obsess over bad chick lit but that doesn’t make them obnoxious.
I guess my point is this: take me as I am and not as how you want me to be. If you want me to be a Nerdy Manic Pixie Dream Girl, then you’re fucked because I am not nearly that energized, cruel, fashionable, happy or whimsical. And you know what? I am fucking happy with exactly the way I am.
Until next rant,
Bejoes
PS: a few days after I wrote this a girl I follow on Youtube made this. It’s basically the same rant about a different subject.
1) You made me lol :D
ReplyDelete2) I don't think the author was referring to "THE" Fellowship, because Tolkien is not at all know for being hard to 'get through'. That's something that's more commonly said about 'heavy'/'dry' literature. A quick search shows that Kafka has a short story entitled 'Fellowship', and he would fit the bill, but that one doesn't have chapters since it seems to be only one page long... Maybe the author just needed another impressive sounding reference and didn't research thoroughly? Or maybe his reference is so obscure even google can't find it? Anyway I think Tolkien is insult-free in this instance :p
3) I agree wholeheartedly on the manic pixie dream girl thing. Yet another cultural construct to fuck girls up, ugh! I loved how it was recently being parodied on 'American Dad!', got a few laughs out of me :)
4) That other girl's rant is awesome. "Hi, I'm a racist asshole' => lol :p
It could be Kafka's Fellowship, I've never heard of that. also I won't actually kick someone out if they have not read Lord of the Rings; but since my friends see my love for Tolkien as a quirky thing I like to over emphasize my passion for comic relief sometimes :)
ReplyDeleteAnd yeah, that girl is pretty awesome :D